16 February 2001 - Bill Clinton’s pardons

Hi, I’m Bill Clinton, and I’m here today to enhance my personal thriving by collecting a large appearance fee. Ha ha, just kidding, actually I’m here to address a basic psychological need, the need to protect myself from unfounded accusations. Rash agitators been calling me a sleazeball for pardoning drug dealers, millionaire fraudsters, and hardened serial killers. At least one of these claims is totally untrue. I’d like to assure you all that my conscience is clear of any wrongdoing, because if it weren’t, I would have pardoned myself.