4 May 2002 - Philip Morris

< yesterday -- tomorrow >

Philip Morris’s Thoughts About Becoming Altria

1. The public is God.
2. When you change your name, God thinks you’re a new person.
3. Therefore, we can get away with anything!
4. Hmm, better have another name ready for next time.

the Daily Whale || copyright 2002, 2024 Jay J.P. Scott <jay@satirist.org>