16 March 2008 - Bare Sterns

The U.S. Federal Reserve agreed today to cover the exposed assets of major finance firm Bare Sterns. “They had a bit too much irrational exuberance at the party,” explained the normally-reserved central bank, “the bubbly stuff, so much that nobody wanted to get into bed with them. We expect that a little government support can keep them on their feet until they can be properly married off, without creating too much moral hazard.”