the Daily Whale - 18 June 2009

Ayatollah Khamenei: Hello, China? Iran has been trying to copy your economic policies. Do you think we could get help with censorship too?
Green Dam Girl: Harmony is our business. How may we help?
Khamenei: It seems we have a few dissonant elements. How can we euphemize them?
Green Dam Girl: Gosh, sending in the tanks is just so icky, you know? People have this way of remembering it for decades.
Khamenei: Exactly.
Green Dam Girl: Do you have alpacas in Iran?
Khamenei: Uh, I don’t....
Green Dam Girl: No matter, the rabbits will win, that’s my job! Because as soon as you harmonize what people can say—
Khamenei: Uh....
Green Dam Girl: —then whoever disagrees is only spouting nonsense!
Khamenei: That has already begun.
Green Dam Girl: I’ll be there in... a few hours? A few minutes? Hold on, my watches disagree.

I love Green Dam Girl! She is a cartoon character invented by Chinese activists to satirize government Green Dam internet censorship software. She is often shown carrying a rabbit, after an image prominent in the software, and wearing a river crab badge, a Chinese pun on the official euphemism for censorship, “harmonization”. The alpaca stands for a “mud grass horse”, a homonym for a rude curse. She occasionally wears three watches, a reference to popular commentator Wang Xiaofeng.

18 June 2009 - Green Dam Girl

clue: