1. You can’t be found. Write a computer virus, and the
chances of being caught are negligible.
2. You can’t get lost. Even if your GPS breaks down on
a featureless tundra, draw “SOS” in the snow and NSA
satellite photo interpreters will note your exact
coordinates in their secret files.
3. No need to hide your hearing aid; just run a white
cord down from it.
give me a clue so sweet and true
the Daily Whale
copyright 2006, 2024 Jay J.P. Scott
<jay@satirist.org>